It’d been three years since my first Christian Communicator’s training and I felt like I was ready to take a new step—though I had no idea what it might be. So, my enthusiasm to attend the Advanced CCC ramped up as soon as it was announced.
I remember being a bit anxious attending my first CCC. This time was different. I knew what to expect and I knew God had something even more spectacular planned. I went feeling like my ministry was on the verge of being defined. Like, being pruned so more fruit could grow; I didn’t feel afraid, but hopeful.
As I met each new sister a kindred bond was forged. I appreciated each of their gifts and personality. I wanted to draw alongside and get to know each of them in a deeper way. It would only be a few days together but when you’re thrown into something so deep and meaningful, time has no bearing. We became sisters of the heart in a matter of hours.
There’s always a bit of apprehension when preparing to speak. Maybe it’s a new audience, developing a fresh topic and the exhaustion of traveling. As a speaker, I’ve gotten used to the butterflies that swarm beforehand. Usually, by the time I step up to the microphone they settle into formation and carry my words.
Attending the Advanced CCC wasn’t any different. I planned my message. I worked it out in my head and rearranged my thoughts like sticky notes on a board. But, whenever I tried to practice out loud, my tongue tangled around my brain and nothing came out.
I paced. I prayed. I asked for prayer. Yet, nothing seemed to free the words from within. And, I was getting anxious; I was being videotaped—a permanent record. There would be no re-dos. And, I was tied up in knots.
This seems to be a consistent theme for me when preparing. Even though I study, pray, write out notes and live my message beforehand, there is only so much preparation I am able to do. After I do my part, I need to trust God to deliver His message by the Holy Spirit.
I’m learning that ultimately, He is the speaker. I am only the vessel.
When I have prepared notes, the message is delivered differently, as if He knows the need of the hearer and speaks directly to their heart. The wonderful part is after I finish speaking, someone will say, “How did you know that was just what I needed today.”
I didn’t know. But God did.
So, I knew I needed to trust Him with this too. The pressure I felt was mine, not His. He would equip me to do what I came to do.
Saturday morning arrived and we all prepared for our video sessions. We dressed, primped, prayed, hit the ladies room one last time and then took a deep breath. By this time, we had bonded as new sisters and we rallied behind one another. Inwardly we breathed a prayer and a WOO of encouragement as each one stood in front of the camera.
I believed in each one of my sisters. I knew their hearts and the messages God needed them to share. I felt like I cheered on my children as a proud parent and I know they felt the same.
As my time slot approached, my mouth went dry and I prayed for those butterflies to settle. With a slight adjustment of my clothes and a settled sigh, I looked into the camera. I knew my sisters were praying as my words flowed along with the Spirit’s intention and my butterflies calmed down right on time.
The stammering tongue will be fluent and clear.
Jeanne Doyon’s ministry, Pausing to See God Clearly encourages others to draw nearer to the Lover of their souls. She connects the Truths in Scripture to the ordinary events of life and shares her reflections on her blog, The Stream’s Edge. She enjoys writing, photography, tea with friends, and creating with beads. Contact Jeanne at firstname.lastname@example.org and find out more about her speaking topics at www.jeannedoyon.blogspot.com. She and her husband John live in Connecticut.