I’ve worked as a full-time writer for many years. I love watching the way God uses my humble scribblings to work His will in my life and the lives of others. Truthfully, I was more than content for things to stay that way.
But then the opportunities to speak began cropping up.
I’m just not comfortable in front of a group of people. Even though I do have the gift of leadership, I’ve always been satisfied to exercise it in a behind-the-scenes way. But you know how God can be. He’s never interested in leaving us as is. He loves us way to much to settle for okay, when He knows our full potential. But He kept nudging me, pushing me through speaking doors I didn’t want to enter.
I finally agreed to attend the Christian Communicators Conference this past week. I thought if I made an effort, He’d see I wasn’t cut out for the speaking side of ministry. And well…that didn’t happen.
So I played the humility card.
You know the one I mean. It’s that holier-than-thou one where we claim to talk about ourselves is to deny the glory denied to Him. (I swear that at one point I could almost see Him rolling His eyes at me.) I was good at that argument, too.
I patiently explained to God that I’m a background sort of girl and any kind of attention makes me desperately uncomfortable. And, in my mind, I’ve always thought that was the way it should be. After all, I’m only where I am because of His blessings—not anything I’ve done. So situations that bring attention to me seem to be diametrically opposed to bringing glory to God.
This week at CCC, I was told differently.
Who dared to argue with my supposed biblical point of view? Nobody very important—just GOD!
Here’s the verse that stopped me in my tracks.
They conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they did not love their lives in the face of death.
There it is, one powerful word—TESTIMONY—that little word is causing me a death of sorts. The death of my quiet, comfortable, life-in-the-shadows life. You see, my testimony is what God has done in my life. And God wants to use that to defeat the enemy.
Uh, have you ever tried to share a personal testimony without talking about yourself? Don’t bother trying, trust me, it’s just not possible.
So what am I going to do with this information? The only thing I can do—try to be obedient—no matter how uncomfortable it makes me. Because the one thing I do know is that this life isn’t about me.
Edie is the author of numerous books, including the devotional for military families, Fighting Fear: Winning the War at Home When Your Soldier Leaves for Battle, and Connections: Social Media & Networking Techniques for Writers. She’s also a well known freelance writer and editor. Her blog, The Write Conversation, reaches thousands each month. She’s the co-director of the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference and the Social Media Mentor at My Book Therapy. She’s also the Military Family Blogger at Guideposts. Com, Social Media Director for Southern Writers Magazine and the Senior Editor for NovelRocket.com. Connect with her on Twitter and Facebook.