Photo courtesy of Salvatore Vuono/

This is the fourth installment in our It’s a Question of Pride Series, partially excerpted from my book, Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe. For Christians, change is an ongoing process, constantly prodding and convicting as we seek to become the woman He has planned for us to be. Answering these questions helps me get back on focus when I get off track.

Does It Really Matter?

I have a profound truth to share that may come as a surprise to some: None of us are called to a ministry of criticism.

Even though no official committee exists, it’s easy to recognize its members. Perhaps you’re one of them. I tend to maintain a cycle of joining and resigning this committee over and over, year after year. For some reason, it’s often easier to see the failures of others rather than my own.

That’s not the way I want to be. So I’m trying to monitor my mouth and my mind with these four questions:

  • Is it truly a problem, or is it just my preference? I’m learning that I don’t have to say everything I think. I may not like the music, the bulletin may have glaring errors, and the nursery’s new paint color may look like it came from the dump, but in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter?
  • Does it have eternal consequences? Is it an issue of sin, or simply a matter of tradition? Will it affect someone’s heart for eternity, or is it simply my taste over theirs?
  • Can I make a difference? If it’s a matter of maturity, can I mentor them into a place of seeking God’s will in their choices? Can I help them grow in the love and admonition of the Lord?
  • Am I contributing to the Body’s strength or its weakness?

Don’t be a member of the cold water committee. Instead, discover what really matters, and then monitor your mouth and your mind.

The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction. Proverbs 16:21

Grace and peace,


(Photo courtesy of Salvatore Vuono/